Its been so long since I've blogged. Today is a new day and the time passed to get to today has allowed new discoveries along the way. Today I am dealing with the thoughts of people coming into my house and helping me get organized. I don't know what day they will come but it will be someday soon and I will see a therapist again and get a break from the kids to talk to God when I make it more of a priority. All of this came about through a group I am in at my church. A WOW meeting, we have been studying on how to see our husbands as our heroes. Last meet my desire for help toward change really took presence and the woman showed great interest in helping me carry this burden and not feel so isolated and loosing belief in myself of ever achieving the goals to get to the end of all this very literal stuff clouding up my life. I am grateful and looking forward to the help in the midst of doubt and uncertainty. I am asking them to pray for me and for the spiritual battle within as this crutch is forced out and not allowed to have reign in my life anymore. What a delivery of new life it will bring. All I have to do is completely surrender. There are all kinds of things that bind us to a certain roll we play in this life we live. In order to live in the light we only dream about, we first have to look at where we live now and then take real and often painful steps through all the mess to conquer our greatest need for new beauty.